You look just nice for your shade

  Like seriously it's never the first time i've heard this in my life and this is the best i could translate for my title as i couldn't find a better translation of telling the Tamil version in English. Why do dark skin girls need to go thru this ? I definitely have felt insecure back then when people discriminated me but as i grew older i realize i was beautiful and unique on my own way . Perhaps now when people make fun out of me , i smile at them and say thank you cause when i look at myself in the mirror , i see a strong woman in me and i know regardless what, Nothing can pull down my self confident .

   It's always the same question everywhere, everyday and i'm bored . So i decided to eventually bring up this topic, so that all narrow minded people stops discriminating one and another . I know it's definitely not going to make a prodigious change, yet i do hope someone out there would read this and reach out the message to all those who are going through this as i believe when we spread good vibes, in return we get more good souls.

  Let me tell you guys how i gained my confident. As i grew my mum always loved seeing me wearing pink and when i wore , i definitely felt like i was the ugliest one but because the lady of mine liked i wore without complaining. Well years went by, i grew up to the lady i am now and now when i wear colours my mum goes telling me" i told you regardless what, you definitely will pull it off and look how beautiful you are ". Now you see how i gained my confident over years ?

     Another way I gained my confident would definitely be from my cousin sister who is in my skin tone. I’ve always admire her on how she pulls off colours and bothered less about all those chat-box. When i ask her how she manages listening all this , she tells me “ why bother about people when it’s all about you in this  life”. As time flies I realise what she told was true, putting on colours that makes me stand out made me feel comfortable and definitely it was eye catching as some had to discriminate me and definitely when i go up to people I’m close with, all they say is “ look at how beautiful you are “ 

  

    Now that I’ve grown up I thought people who accept my skin colour and let me dress as i want but I definitely was wrong as , there was still people who eventually had something to say about my shade and comparing me with my fairer cousins. I never once bothered or worried as i knew this is the forever talk people are going to have . 

   Believe it or not, i use to date this guy who looked tanned in shade and once when i was out with my him , he asked me about my cousin who was fair . Like “ what’s her age ? Does she has a boyfriend? Can i get her number? She’s soo pretty , look at how fair is she , how can’t she have a boyfriend? “ even all this questions are still acceptable as we were still in dating terms but the worst From him was “ why is she fair like an snow and you dark as an coal ?” For that moment I literally felt like slapping him for being so colourism but I smiled at him and told him if that’s the case then let’s end this few months date here. He definitely was puzzled over my immediate decision but don’t you guy think it’s safe to date someone who makes you feel ashamed ? As for me it really never mattered as i was proud of what i was given but the thought of *if he can discriminate me over my shade , I’m sure one day he will leave me for someone who looks better in look* made me make this decision . 

 Because of my mom and my sister , I’ve never felt insecure or even wanted to be in a lighter tone. I’ve never avoided wearing vibrant colours just because I’m dark and I’ve never once worried being under the sun. I have friends who comes from different ethnic and non of them treat me differently due to my skin tone and I’m definitely blessed having Indian friends who have been with me for the past 8 years who don’t recognise someones self-worth by the colour of their skin. 

Guess we should actually stop discriminating or looking down at people . We are in the year of 2018 and i still couldn’t believe some people are keeping their mind soo narrowed and educating younger generations the same. Racism and colourism is two different thing, people should stop thinking that dark skin tone is UGLY . This are the names of some beautiful soul I know who have made me confident over the years of who i am now in ever aspect of my life : My sister ( Kanages ) , Thyivya Kalaiselvan , Mangleswary Subramaniam and Nikki Perkins .

Wrapping it up here but sharing my experience over the years . I’m not sure if anyone is sailing the same boat  as me but if you are then girl just a reminder that you are not alone but I’m here to listen all you have to tell ! If you are a dark skin , don’t you worry cause you know what ? You are beautiful in every-way and always remember “ be proud of yourself and embrace yourself without fear “ . 

Your Truly , 

  

   Abherrami Suresh Kumar